An article from today’s freebie newspaper…
Best friends fill acceptance need
There are some days when pulling your hair out seems like a pleasant diversion.
On such a day, getting a cheerful call from a best friend can just turn the day around for the better.
It is so comforting to know that outside our family ties and romantic bonds, there is someone who cherishes you and you them, just for being a great chum and a confidant.
“A best friend is someone you have a consistent, warm, accepting relationship with. Where there is a certain level of openness, frankness and an ability to be yourself,” explains psychotherapist Patti Wilson of Wilson Counselling Associates in Oakville.
“You may not always agree, but you can agree to disagree and still support each other. I think it is important that best friends share interests and activities that are special.
“Often, there is intensity with our immediate families and our love relationships that make it difficult to feel totally accepted. So, friendships fill that hole in our lives.”
Distance or responsibilities can interfere with friends getting together as much as they might have once enjoyed.
“Sharing your interests and your trials and tribulations can be maintained over the telephone. What happens in long-term friendships is people change throughout their lives and this impacts our friendships,” Wilson continues.
“A good friendship has resilience. Both people can make adaptations because they value the relationship, even when they see each other less often.
“The ability to be in a healthy friendship has to do with how flexible you are. Best friends is a quality, not a quantity, relationship. The work of maintaining a friendship is the willingness to communicate and have fun together.
“That is what friendship is all about,” adds Wilson.
KATHRYN KATES
FOR METRO TORONTO
