Here’s some more stuff I clipped out of a magazine (Mayfair Nov. 1978) from years ago…
A woman in a topless dress walked into a church. The vicar was aghast.
“I’m afraid you can’t come in here like that,” he said.
“But I have a divine right,” she said.
“You have a divine left,” replied the vicar, “but you still can’t come in.”
Waldo and his amazing talking dog, an old-time variety act, were appearing at a northern nightclub.
“Tell the audience, Rex, what is found on the outside of a tree?” said Waldo.
“Bark,” was the reply.
The audience showed their distaste. After several embarrassing seconds the act continued. “Now Rex, what would you find on top of a house?”
“Roof,” was the dog’s reply, at which point the two were chased out of the auditorium by the dissatisfied customers.
While travelling back to London in the car, both visibly upset, the dog turned to his master and said: “Do you think I shold have said a chimney?”
I’m laughing so hard I’m puking my guts out!
