{"id":342,"date":"2003-04-07T21:17:00","date_gmt":"2003-04-07T21:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/badinage.com\/journal\/?p=342"},"modified":"2003-04-07T21:17:00","modified_gmt":"2003-04-07T21:17:00","slug":"did-you-hear-the-one-about","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/badinage.com\/journal\/2003-04\/342-did-you-hear-the-one-about","title":{"rendered":"Did you hear the one about&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>My best friend&#8217;s wife is about to audition for a part in <i>The Producers<\/i>, and she has to tell a joke. Since she couldn&#8217;t remember any of the many jokes she says she used to know, she sent out a request for people to send their best ones to her.<\/p>\n<p>So while going through my &#8220;Ah Ha Ha Ha&#8221; mailbox, I found a few, including the following:<\/p>\n<p><font COLOR=\"#880088\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, &#8220;If you kiss me, I&#8217;ll turn into a beautiful princess.&#8221;  He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The frog spoke up again and said, &#8220;If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.&#8221; The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The frog then cried out, &#8220;If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I&#8217;ll stay with you for a year and do <b>anything<\/b> you want.&#8221;  Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Finally, the frog asked, &#8220;What is the matter?  I&#8217;ve told you I&#8217;m a beautiful princess, that I&#8217;ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. <b>Why won&#8217;t you kiss me?!?!<\/b>&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The man said, &#8220;Look, I&#8217;m an Engineer.  <b>I don&#8217;t have time for a girlfriend, but <i>a talking frog is cool<\/i>.<\/b>&#8220;<\/font><\/p>\n<p>and this&#8230;<br \/>\n<font COLOR=\"#880088\"><\/p>\n<ul><b>HOW &#8220;THEY&#8221; DO IT, WHEN IT COMES TO SEX<\/b><\/p>\n<li>Accountants do it with a Double Entry<\/li>\n<li>Acupuncturists do it with a small prick<\/li>\n<li>Ambulance drivers come much quicker<\/li>\n<li>Australians do it Down Under<\/li>\n<li>Bankers do it with interest<\/li>\n<li>(Don&#8217;t do it with Bankers; most of them are Tellers!)<\/li>\n<li>Bartenders do it on-the-rocks<\/li>\n<li>Chess players check their Mates<\/li>\n<li>Cops do it with cuffs<\/li>\n<li>DJs do it on request<\/li>\n<li>Deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure<\/li>\n<li>Dentists do it orally<\/li>\n<li>Detectives do it undercover<\/li>\n<li>Engineers do it to specification<\/li>\n<li>Firemen do it with a big hose<\/li>\n<li>Frank Sinatra did it his way<\/li>\n<li>Garbagemen come once a week<\/li>\n<li>Gardeners do it in the bushes<\/li>\n<li>Gas attendants pump all day long<\/li>\n<li>Housewives do it for an allowance<\/li>\n<li>Jockeys gallop hard and finish fast<\/li>\n<li>Landlords do it every 1st of the month<\/li>\n<li>Mountain climbers like to be on top<\/li>\n<li>Pianists touch, tickle and tittilate<\/li>\n<li>Pizza deliverymen come in 30 minutes or it&#8217;s free<\/li>\n<li>Truckers do it on the road<\/li>\n<li>Travel Agents do it in lots of different places<\/li>\n<li>Waiters and waitresses do it for the tips<\/li>\n<li>Watch out for tennis players; love means nothing to them<\/li>\n<li>Zoologists do it with the animals<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My best friend&#8217;s wife is about to audition for a part in The Producers, and she has to tell a joke. Since she couldn&#8217;t remember any of the many jokes she says she used to know, she sent out a &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/badinage.com\/journal\/2003-04\/342-did-you-hear-the-one-about\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-342","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/badinage.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/342","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/badinage.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/badinage.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/badinage.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/badinage.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=342"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/badinage.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/342\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/badinage.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=342"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/badinage.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=342"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/badinage.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=342"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}