Happy VD!

Here are some Crazy Horoscopes for today…

— For me:
Cancer Jam a peanut up your nostril and sneeze at your desired love. They will give you a banana and say, “Use that to clean your armpits”

— For Chocoholic:
Scorpio Keep a squid in your refridgerator to ward off any naughty pixies who may decide to steal your prize chocolate turnip, which you have kept as a valentines gift.

— For tammy2tall:
Aquarius You have been very naughty! Smash some eggs on your bedroom wall while shouting, “I promise never to remove my spleen in public again, in order to attract a mate.”