My best friend’s wife is about to audition for a part in The Producers, and she has to tell a joke. Since she couldn’t remember any of the many jokes she says she used to know, she sent out a request for people to send their best ones to her.
So while going through my “Ah Ha Ha Ha” mailbox, I found a few, including the following:
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?!?!”
The man said, “Look, I’m an Engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.“
and this…
- HOW “THEY” DO IT, WHEN IT COMES TO SEX
- Accountants do it with a Double Entry
- Acupuncturists do it with a small prick
- Ambulance drivers come much quicker
- Australians do it Down Under
- Bankers do it with interest
- (Don’t do it with Bankers; most of them are Tellers!)
- Bartenders do it on-the-rocks
- Chess players check their Mates
- Cops do it with cuffs
- DJs do it on request
- Deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure
- Dentists do it orally
- Detectives do it undercover
- Engineers do it to specification
- Firemen do it with a big hose
- Frank Sinatra did it his way
- Garbagemen come once a week
- Gardeners do it in the bushes
- Gas attendants pump all day long
- Housewives do it for an allowance
- Jockeys gallop hard and finish fast
- Landlords do it every 1st of the month
- Mountain climbers like to be on top
- Pianists touch, tickle and tittilate
- Pizza deliverymen come in 30 minutes or it’s free
- Truckers do it on the road
- Travel Agents do it in lots of different places
- Waiters and waitresses do it for the tips
- Watch out for tennis players; love means nothing to them
- Zoologists do it with the animals
