Age, a Funny Thing
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(by George Carlin?)

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is 
when we're kids?  If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about 
aging that you think in fractions.  How old are you? "I'm four and a half." 
You're never 36 and a half. You're four and a half going on five!

That's the key.  You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You 
jump to the next number.  How old are you?  "I'm gonna be 16."  You could be 
12, but you're gonna be 16.

And then the greatest day of your life happens: you become 21.  Even the words 
sound like a ceremony. You BECOME 21. YES!

But then you TURN 30. Ooohhh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad 
milk. He TURNED, we had to throw him out. There's no fun now.

What's wrong? What changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 
40. Stay over there, it's all slipping away.

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you're PUSHING 40, you REACH 50... and your 
dreams are gone.

Then you MAKE IT to 60. You didn't think you'd make it!

So you BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you're PUSHING 40, you REACH 50, you MAKE IT 
to 60. Then you build up so much speed you HIT 70!

After that, it's a day by day thing.  After that, you HIT Wednesday. You get 
into your 80s, you HIT lunch.  You TURN 4:30. My grandmother won't even buy 
green bananas. It's an investment you know, and maybe a bad one.

And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s you start going backwards. "I was 
JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little 
kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!!"