A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells:
The man immediately leans out his window and replies with:
They each continue on their way. As the man rounds the next corner he runs into a pig in the middle of the road.
Lick, paw, ogle, caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, empathize,
serenade, compliment, support, dig, floralize, feed, laminate, tantalize,
bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, bark, purr, hug,
baste, marinate, coddle, excite, pacify, tattoo, protect, phone, correspond,
anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice, ply,
accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag,
crawl, tunnel, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore,
bawl, shower, shave, ululate, trust, dip, twirl, dive, grovel, ignore, defend,
milk, coax, clothe, straddle, melt, brag, acquiesce, aromate, prevail, super
collide, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge,
polish, upgrade, spoil, reddi-whip, embrace, delouse, accept, butter-up, hear,
understand, jitterbug, mosh, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim,
hold her hair while she's puking in the toilet, nurse, resuscitate, repair,
patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, do a
nickel in Attica for, dream of, promise, exceed, deliver, tease, flirt, enlist,
torch, pine, wheedle, cajole, angelicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle,
hezbollah, jihad, elevate, enervate, alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib,
salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, take her to Funkytown, scuttle like a crab
on the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky,
crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip,
slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle,
slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate,
gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, blue-coral
wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and
and then go back, Jack, and do it again.
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a "redneck" joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Before you tell that joke you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs. and a redneck. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and a redneck. The fella next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs. and a redneck. Do you still want to tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it three times